Relationships have always had their difficulties but with the rise of social media, keeping up a relationship in this day and age can be difficult. Me and my boyfriend Stephen have been together for just over a year and a half and we’ve had our disagreements. Every relationship has their disagreements, but we’ve always worked through them and come out stronger.
I think the main issue with social media damaging relationships is jealousy. Your boyfriend likes another girl’s photo on Instagram and before you know it you’re stalking her best friend’s cousin. The same girl then likes his picture of you two, what is she playing at? Does he have her on snapchat? When did she and her last boyfriend break up? Who’s are those initials in her bio? STOP DRIVING YOURSELF CRAZY.
I struggle with the thought of the same girls liking my boyfriends photos and messaging him on Facebook but at the end of the day, it’s her I don’t trust. Not him. This isn’t about any girl in particular, I’m just generalising. The problem these days is often status, are you talking, just getting together, just started dating, Facebook official etc. I think if you both like each other you should do something about it, the most important part of a relationship is having fun.
You need to talk to each other. And I don’t just mean if something is bothering you, if you have a random thought that pops into your head or your favourite song just came on the radio or if you heard a weird part of a strangers’ conversation – tell them. Make jokes together, send lyrics to each other to see who can remember the most, pretend you’re strangers and you’re just meeting. Me and Stephen make sure we text each other every day, even if we are both busy and we have a 30 second break or the first time we speak is 10.30 when we go to bed.
This is where social media can actually be an advantage in your relationship. Snapchat is great for messing around which will make you feel more comfortable with each other. Messenger is a firm favourite of ours, particularly for funny gifs. We have a very gify relationship. If you feel like you’re being ignored and he was active on Facebook 2 minutes ago you’re going to be narked but just send a message: “hope everything is okay. Reply when you get this if you can I feel a bit ignored”. This is going to resolve the problem quicker and easier than playing the silent game and just getting angry and shouting.
As much as social media is great, it’s important to make time to see each other. This can be a lot more tricky in a long-distance relationship (which we start in September :() but even virtual dates like Skyping while watching the same film or a picnic via video call/pictures. And I know fancy dates can get expensive but in our 19 months together we have been on 2 fancy dates. Our dates usually just involve chilling with each other. The beach is one of our favourite spots and our latest date was a picnic in a local park. We have made silly artwork together, built a fort (yes, we are 18) and stargazed.
Social media can get in the way but only if you let it. Even if you don’t trust other people, trust your partner. Don’t bottle things up but also don’t only talk about problems. Stephen is my best friend and I think that’s why we work so well but even when we argue, we always come back to the question “how can we fix this?” and together, we always come up with an answer.
Let me know your experiences with social media in relationships! Also, if anyone does have any long-distance relationship advice we would both be super grateful!